laughing to keep from crying

wow so yea i found out some disturbing news about a guy im talking to..i don't know why i am surprised this always happens ..i mean ALWAYS..this is why i keep m guard up and don't talk to to dudes because in the end im the one always getting hurt..man FUCK THAT! & FUCK YOU! i was nothing but nice to you. i never hassled you about anything. i even gave you the benefit of the doubt so many times so i guess you can it is my fault for being so stupid and giving them to you..i thought it was all on the girl..thinking o well maybe that girl just likes him and is crazy. but nope it's you ..you fucked up BIG time. i never asked you for anything..all i asked for you to be was real with me and you told me i did not have to worry about that. i should have known better. WOW im like still in shock..i wish you could feel the way i feel right now. Do you know what it feels like to have your heart ripped from you and stumped on with out any remorse. i feel like somebody just hit me with a recking ball in the stomach. This is a feeling i would never wish on my worst enemy because NO ONE deserves to feel this way.

I WAS NOTHIN..NOTHING BUT FUCKIN NICE TO YOU!! & this is how you fucking repay with some bullshit like this. you have no fuckin soul or heart. why couldn't you just be real with me. i honestly thought you were different but i should have listened to my older sister who said "it's the ones you least expect that do you the worse" thanks for proving my sister right.
TRUST ME i will get to the bottom of this and when i do..YOU BETTER PRAY..you BETTER PRAY..that's all i got to say.
FAKE PEOPLE have no place in my life... so get the fuck out..i don't have time.
people would always be like o ariana this guy is cute talk to them but i would say no ..no i can't cause of so and so..ppssh what a fool i was..people would tell me if he doesn't work out there are more fish in the sea and i would tell people but i don't want anyone else..i wanted YOU ... that's why i wish all this was a big lie or that when i get to the bottom of all this bullshit it's not what i expected even though i know it won't work that way..because in some weird way i still want you..but sometimes what we want isn't what we need....

2 fingahs & <3

Crazy Crazy Crazy...

This is how I feel right now..like seriously I feel like my brain is on overload with just random things..thoughts about cartoons, thoughts about food, thoughts of him, thoughts of what the hell im going to wear tomorrow..ugh. I want my brain just to take a break and breathe but NOPE not gonna happen so I guess my crazy thoughts and hormonal frenzy will continue til tomorrow..men are lucky that their "mother" doesn't come to visit them every month!
Hahahahaha sissy I said "mother" just like you hehehe im stilling your word.

2 fingahs & <3

its about that time...

Aaahhhh .My moodiness is about to come..
Omg. Im so friggin irritated right now! I just honestly wanna choke the hell out of someone then just cry and then just lay down and fall asleep.

Yeap im moody!.
Ugh. I hate this....

don't you think...

I get irritated when you ask me the same question everyday. Like you know I haven't talked to "that" person like all day.so why ask it everyday!..
Don't you think I wish I would have talked to "that" person today & that I miss them...
That I want to see him.but can't..
That I get insecure sometimes knowing he goes to a different school & I can't see what he's doing w/ who knows
Don't you think..
That I feel LAME sometimes for even thinkin like that..
I fall for people fast and hard even though I try my hardest NOT too
Don't you think...
That sometimes always trying to see the good in everyone bites me in BUTT!
I feel foolish because I still like him although some of my friends think I shouldn't
I wish he didn't have control over my mood sometimes..
I wish all these thoughts wouldn't go through my head all the time when im asked that question..
so have you talked to "__________" today?
But I simply reply..No..

2 fingahs & <3

I Dream...