laughing to keep from crying

wow so yea i found out some disturbing news about a guy im talking to..i don't know why i am surprised this always happens ..i mean ALWAYS..this is why i keep m guard up and don't talk to to dudes because in the end im the one always getting hurt..man FUCK THAT! & FUCK YOU! i was nothing but nice to you. i never hassled you about anything. i even gave you the benefit of the doubt so many times so i guess you can it is my fault for being so stupid and giving them to you..i thought it was all on the girl..thinking o well maybe that girl just likes him and is crazy. but nope it's you ..you fucked up BIG time. i never asked you for anything..all i asked for you to be was real with me and you told me i did not have to worry about that. i should have known better. WOW im like still in shock..i wish you could feel the way i feel right now. Do you know what it feels like to have your heart ripped from you and stumped on with out any remorse. i feel like somebody just hit me with a recking ball in the stomach. This is a feeling i would never wish on my worst enemy because NO ONE deserves to feel this way.

I WAS NOTHIN..NOTHING BUT FUCKIN NICE TO YOU!! & this is how you fucking repay with some bullshit like this. you have no fuckin soul or heart. why couldn't you just be real with me. i honestly thought you were different but i should have listened to my older sister who said "it's the ones you least expect that do you the worse" thanks for proving my sister right.
TRUST ME i will get to the bottom of this and when i do..YOU BETTER PRAY..you BETTER PRAY..that's all i got to say.
FAKE PEOPLE have no place in my life... so get the fuck out..i don't have time.
people would always be like o ariana this guy is cute talk to them but i would say no ..no i can't cause of so and so..ppssh what a fool i was..people would tell me if he doesn't work out there are more fish in the sea and i would tell people but i don't want anyone else..i wanted YOU ... that's why i wish all this was a big lie or that when i get to the bottom of all this bullshit it's not what i expected even though i know it won't work that way..because in some weird way i still want you..but sometimes what we want isn't what we need....

2 fingahs & <3

coming where im from

So yea I haven't blogged in like forever ..with all the THANKS going to work! *sarcasm* but recently a best friend of my was decieved and hurt my someone we called a friend and for her a closest friend. We decided we will not talk to this person right now but I can't just cut someone off without letting them know why.she doesn't owe him an explination but I feel I do cuz yes he did hurt me becuz he hurt one of my best friends but he didn't do the act to me so for me to shut him off w/o telling him why I think would be kinda unfair..and yes u guys might say well he wasn't fair to ur friend when he hurt her so why should I be fair with him.. Thing is I don't know why but my parent always told me if something is bothering u then let it out. And no im not gonna say anything to bust out my fren or him but im jus gonna let him know that I've learned of somethings about that I don't approve of or like. But when I do this I hope she understands where im coming from..man I just don't know how to tell to her cuz I don't want her to be mad @ me cuz her friendship means the world to me she's like my friggin sister! Aagghh man I HATE this!